I decided to use the slow-cooker/laundry detergent method to remove the paint and used the directions found on this Apartment Therapy post by Anna of Door Sixteen.
Here's how it went down...
Purchased cheap-o crock pot at Aldi during snow storm of the century.
Gathered offensive hardware.
Removed the hardware from the crock pot and peeled the softened paint off by the old chopstick and rag method.
The door hardware still isn't perfectly clean. Dear readers, is there a way to shine them up a little more? Or do I put them in for another round in the crock pot?